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Old 05-20-2016, 09:57 AM   #3
MMLP
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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first part: I really like your style tbf, its fast paced rhyming n story telling , flow was maintained, I'd prefer more internal multies but I understand that's hard to perfect.

But sticking to the topic throughout is key imo and that's what you've done here!

second part: your rhyming pace slowed down a lot. I believe at this point, you were dedicated to the story, so I understand it completely...

ending fell a bit flat if im honest but overall, I enjoyed the read man, good work!


I can only picture a reservoir dogs scene when reading this lol
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