[Adonis]

God - Very good opener, you jumped right into the thick of it, which could be bad if you lack character build up, either way, it was a gripping opener. For me, the lack of build up really did hurt, I had no connection to what was going on really. I did enjoy it, but after today this verse will be lost in the shuffle. Kudos on throwing some 6 syllable words at me, I don't think it's voter friendly at, so know you run that risk, but I enjoy even if they're words I know.

Diz - I liked the story as a finished product, I thought you progressed well. Copy flow riddled through out along with tense errors and phrasing issues hurt you this week. The verse was probably a couple lines too fat, but all in all, as I said, the story was quite good. The other surrounding criteria was not the best however.


Tough vote. While I enjoyed and connected better with Jesodist' verse, from a technical stand point Buddha mashed, but I didn't have that connection to the verse at all. So which is the bigger offense? IDK honestly, but in the end I enjoyed one a bit more

v/Jesodist

thinnest of margins