[Adonis]

Pat - For starters, the first bar is very nursery rhyme esque, this is not a good thing. "Freezing in the elements and cold" is redundant too. Your flow picked up in the bottom half if the verse, but we've all seen you try and come correct, this was not one of those times.

Wittness - You grew a tad cliche in the end but the verse flowed well, especially the beginning half before you hit your groove. Great description bro. I liked the fat lady singer line, I thought you worded that well. Overall, solid read, no real complaints.


v/witty

Better mechanics and description