[Adonis]

Time - I like that opening line, it's fairly creative, and though I think the original intention was a bit lost in translation, a witty way to word non the less. All in all, I honestly am lost regarding the angle you took. It was all too vague and not concise enough for me to fully grasp the concept. Too open ended book in my view I guess, lacked a bit of focus and key lines enabling and helping me to piece it together.

AZ - Conceptually cool, but you really needed to lengthen the verse by building on that closer and making it more impactful, I do enjoy brevity though. Solid flow, concise multis and nothing stuck out as rhyming for the sake of rhyming, which is big in my book. A tortured soul filled with evil thoughts finally resting in peace, I like the minor twist on something done a million times before, thus, giving it a bit of an edge.


v/ Razah

Stronger degree of difficulty on flow and better execution of concept/ easier to follow