Adverse
I really dug what you did conceptually here. Personifying two elements into one to create a 'physical' enemy, and the ending w/ the set-up for the next battle... dope. Narrative-wise I felt like it slipped a little near the middle, but it picked up again about 2/3 in. I liked the way you snuck in your opponent's name into the verse, it worked given your plot and didn't feel out of place. One minor thing, it's 'throw' in the towel, not 'through'... other than that, pretty solid work here.
Breathless
I like the way it's broken into quartets. Flow is unique, I remember you talking about how you like to experiment with different arrangements and schemes in one of mags a few weeks ago, and from your last few pieces I see what you mean. This was cool. I felt like as it got a little more conceptual about half-way through it became a little harder to follow. For example, while I dig the 'ancient sea creatures' line I don't really get how it fits in... it's got cool imagery in and it grabs the reader, but I feel like there's not much behind it really. That being said the next quartet I thought was really neat.
Overall I enjoyed both and they're two very different types of verses... overall I just think Adverse took it with a superior concept.
v/ Adverse
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