Asylum, I thought your piece was brought together nicely
I like the flow of the piece as you craft such a nice scene...
my issue with it didn't come until the end when you used magical..
tragically bleed sounds weird too, up until then you had the advantage too.
you pull the reader into the topic at hand & craft a smooth read.
when you kept saying *we* I figured it was you & the crow, a cool team.
the desolation felt real but I would have enjoyed a more thorough view
regardless nice work here & around the forum too..
Witty, I thought this was a cool piece, Stephen King-ish
some parts were redundant & hurt you, a profound linguist.
I enjoyed the use of fetter but I dont think it played well here.
some mishaps in spelling threw me off though the message felt clear
the multi usage was cool but I lold at battle hardened saddle sergeant
aside from that it took the attention away from how it vaguely started
thin & the tall felt like a weird wording for the sake of syllable count
but you do paint a vivid picture & the ending helps stake its route...
I would have enjoyed more character development though...
why is he this way? what is that truly envelops his soul?
why did he save the bullet for himself after all the lives hes taken?
ambiguity works for most stories but this one is quite....vacant?
v/asylum, I felt that he delivered a thorough representation
Witty came with some strong descriptions & crept towards greatness
but with an abundance of misspelling & redundant focuses it felt forced
after being such a despicable character what would he kill himself for...
I dont know...but he stares at a Raven like he will never see a Raven?
I understand what you tried to say but that was just an odd statement...
asylum had kept a strong stride throughout his piece up until tragically bleed
otherwise he was consistent & won me over with his radical theme....
nice work homebruhs
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