I enjoyed this dead man. There was this juxtaposition of detachment yet mirrored back with collage-like memories. Amor de rey, kings without disciples. ( OH CHICAGO)
This one was really good too, it's not a matter of ego, but ego in its entirety.
I think these lines capture the essence of what you were conveying: I need to quote your own work to summarize or pinpoint closer your work. Obviously only you know what you were aiming for.
"staring at myself until it started to talk to me.
it's something of beauty to become a recluse
driftwood in the wind i drown myself in pursuit, and
breathe myself into stasis. static habitual mind
spend a second alive then head back to where my comfort resides"
My only qualm is this. Since I've been here you have changed your style recently and now emphasize less the rhyming aspect. Which is fine because you combine words very uniquely and paint a broad stroke picture either way. Nevertheless, I do think some of the more complex rhyme schemes you used to do were a big asset that you utilized. And would be nice if you sprinkled them here and there.
Thanks.
|