Art, Your verse was nicely crafted as I finished the read
sometimes the wording felt weird & you had lines you didn't need
the make out point idea for example...I felt like I was in a vintage film
aside from those few stumbles there wasn't another line I didn't feel.
you put together a decent idea that fit the mold of the topic.
you place the proper wording together & control the flow & rock it.
I cant enjoy the whole romance approach though...seems too easy.
but you pull it off & I really appreciate the read b...
Ad, I enjoyed what you were able to bring to the table.
my issue was the quick transitioning you used as your main character came through...
plus the usage of CPR after being in such a terrible wreck?
although that bothered me you used some great variables next
you set up the scene quite nicely at the start, your choice of footwear was lulz
your use of wording helped the flow of your piece & gave it a pulse.
I felt you could have cut a few lines from the first third of your verse.
a little polishing would help & a bit of rewording would have worked...
regardless you hit me in the feels with that ending & that twist.
I felt like I have seen you do this before...maybe not...
v/Well this lived up to expectation as far as Champ matches go
Art came correct with a story & Ad held it down with a rampant flow.
Ads piece had an interesting story weaved around father & daughter
I didnt understand the seating arrangement for this unfortunate slaughter.
regardless I felt like you handled yourself quite well with this drop.
Art on the other hand had his fair share of stumbles that made his work odd.
the use of himself twice threw off your consistent use of wording.
giving up her seat would sound better to me, but I see how the rhymes working.
make out point just felt weird to me, but I did like the use of pizzeria
I think Im going to have to give it to Artifice because he really pleased this reader
v/Artifice
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