Sorry for short vote, this is my final of the day and i'm spent.
Time - you wrote an aging verse, I liked most of the wording but you had a couple lines that didn't sound well in my head. Given the stories length I feel like I should know more about this man, but you played your cards fairly vague, which I guess I don't fully understand. I'm sure I'm missing the grand picture, but as I said in the beginning.
Franker - So I too tried my hand at re-telling known stories and it rarely works man. I'm not a fan of the genre is what i'm saying. I liked the stories progression and I liked some of the wording, but again, at times it still seems like you add more words just because it fits the same end rhyme. OK finished product, not my favorite.
v/TIME
he had the better concept
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is
TUPAC SHAKUR
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