Art, old lady's chair, make out point are just a couple examples of filler. You could've went 20-24 and this verse would've been just as effective. You don't want to bore your reader with overdone details. I also felt incomplete at the end. Ouldve done more. Smooth wording though as usual. Def seen better from you
Ad, pretty dramatic tale. Progression was odd when it came to the switch of perspectives. Wording was sloppy at times making it hard to endure. Not bad just needs more thought and preciseness.
V. Art for being a tad more polished
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