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Old 05-12-2016, 12:39 PM   #5
UnbornBuddha
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Timeless wrote in an enticing manner, albeit there were some places where he veered off track. Nevertheless, he managed to grip the reader, mostly because of his usage of "you", a literary technique used to absorb the reader into the narrative.

Frank: I disliked the direction you took this. Retelling a parable or some might say tall tale is unappealing for several reasons. While some accounts work better than others, Noah's is just too commonplace. Plus, the rhymes didn't match up at times, sometimes you would only rhyme the middle syllable, but the end rhyme is vital for establishing cadence and a hypnotic rhythm.

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