Razah
You went with a more introspective feel. Turning the topic into a metaphor of sorts for your characters journey(you?). Dope take on the topic, good intro and nice diction. Thought that stood out. Cohesive story from the get with a good grasp on the topic. Though at times it felt like you rambled a bit. But nothing to harsh to hurt the overall strength of the piece.
Mmlp
You went with a scenario based story, my kind of take lol. Descriptive tone throught out with a good flow. I thought you started slow but picked up steam through the middle and finished strong towards the end. As far as the story goes i like how you sprinkled the EM reference through out your piece. At first i didnt carch until i saw the hailey line. That was a dope angle to take, Making your read that much more interesting.
Overall
I think ama go with mmlp on this one. I liked the angle he took with the topic sneaking in those well placed references.
MMLP
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