Asylum:
I liked the emotion in your verse, and the personal aspect to it, but I thought it was missing a lot of details that would have made it a better story. I related to the story though and was put in the boy's position, just felt like it would have been a much better product had you extended the description a little more in it. Cool read nonetheless.
NYC:
First thing i've actually read from you I believe, it was a very cool piece and I liked the little descriptive parts, parts you didn't necessarily need to tell your story but it picked up where Asylum's verse lacked. I thought you told a better overall story as well man, it was nice.
V/NYC just a better told story, more description and just nice all the way through. Keep writing gentlemen.
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