Quote:
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primed to deal with thoughts his unconscious mind reveals tonight
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The wording on that was very slick. Alright, so, here I am deciding who one, and I think I might be one of the few people who feel like this. I like reading stories and whatnot, but sometimes, they have parts that bore me and just want the story to continue at a faster pace, and I find myself disliking certain parts because of that.
I enjoyed the story you told, and you have very good wording where lines transition smoothly and technically, a great piece. I feel like some parts drag & get stretched out when they shouldn't be, and that's where my boredom kicks in. Maybe I have a short attention span, who knows. *shrugs.
Quote:
It takes a gentle heart to properly nourish the brain.
Educated with a guess, carved her scholarly courage with flames.
Drawbridge unlocked, boat docked in the moats of our imagination.
Memory shut out, new visions she witnessed sewing her eyes.
End of our fabricated days come when we know when we'll die.
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I liked those lines. I enjoy the shortness of this verse. Short & sweet. This is weird, but I feel like if Artifice would've shortened his verse, he might've bodied you. But, that's why Im'a have to vote for you. Kept my interest through out the whole verse as opposed to me waiting to get interested in the verse again.
vtimeless