Yeah, I can't get into Cereal Killa's style. Sorry man, I just don't get it. I can kind of see it from a certain poetic angle, but it's not even poetry I really enjoy. No hate, just my take on it.
Inno, this was a cool piece. You executed your flip on the topic from start to finish. The only thing really is the spelling errors you made, although I think the see/sea was an intentional play on words personally.
One thing, and it's small...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Innovator
But i press on heart in sleeve hoping to be her suitor
Stitching our souls to a perfect fit hoping for a future
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if you changed 'for' at the end of the second line into 'to see' it becomes
But I press on heart in sleeve hoping to
be her suitor
Stitching our souls to a perfect fit hoping to
see a future
You get an extra syllable rhyming without changing the content of the line imo. Small but those are the kinds of things to look out for that can increase the smoothness of the read.
v/ Innovator