[Adonis]

inno - Good fuck at those first two opening line idioms, bravo. You were successfully able to tell the reader to read excited. lol at "sea/brief/almsy/pf/pf" etc. Mad typos, but aside, this verse is just dope man. Clear images and a story that's just clean as fuck. This verse is legible, but in all honesty, just barely. Does Not Matter. You executed your goal and vividly painted the image of this encounter between a creepy guy in all honesty, just staring and captivated by this baddii. In the end, she approaches the perv, which was you in this scenario, just saying hahaha. Solid writing, would be prestine if you cleaned it up, as is, just solid.


KC - Yeah, not as good as last weeks verse. Incoherent in spots. Hard to follow and a true headache to attempt. I love the progressive thinking, but I believe this style to be widely unsuccessful in all fronts. sorry.


v/Innovator

dude really killed his verse if you can overlook his numerous mechanical errors and simple typos