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Old 05-03-2016, 07:45 PM   #4
Adonis
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Lego

Fice - I love the concept of reliving an entire life through small images and I wish you stuck with this angle through out. As is, you completed the life and ended up in an old folks home. Loved the concept of "his only visit is death". You gave this character a lot of depth man, I love that. You painted clear images, and though I can't say the rhymes per are the most crisp due to a couple spots, for the most part your flow was butter. I really enjoyed this read and, you executed what you wanted on a fairly consistent level. This old man, withered by time. Solid readings



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Le$ - These were good line, individually flowed and rhymed extremely well. You even squeezed in a little bit of knowledge that proves to me you were thinking while writing. However, I don't like the concept in general, but that is on the execution or brevity. When matched with a concept writer, if they are able to complete the concept, the amount of depth they can squeeze into a single verse will vastly out weigh a short take, albeit dope, and done well. It is for that reason

v/ artifice

Depth and fine execution on concept
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