[Mr. J]

Adonis, I thought this was a pretty cool piece but some of the wordings off
prickliest cold made me laugh & that kind of comedy really deserves applause.
carrying on I noticed that after that your rhymes start getting kinda funky.
certain of return & something that spurns seemed cool, but the lines is ugly.
on the other hand I felt that you captured a nice amount of emotion for the piece
it would take a person who understands these feelings to feed into your story's theme
I feel that even though some lines came off weird your piece was well done.
you could have added a couple foreign elements to it & would have done swell son.
but it is what it is & what you would like to add on is a spice from the higher shelf bruh.

Razah, I really do enjoy seeing you flow when you whenever you show up
you tend to attack straightforward and develop quick while holding no punch.
your lines roll up into the perfect formation that it seems utterly ridiculous.
you thrust upon the reader this conviction while the constantly feed into it.
the first couple lines are cool but is that what you really wanted to say here?
I enjoy this though because it seems simple but its a supreme display, weird...
yet supreme...I dont know maybe Im just to wrapped up in your smooth transitions
this was an interesting piece from you, good luck in the future fushnickens.

v/Razah, I enjoyed his piece for being a well weaved written
I enjoyed Adonis verse it should be titled Why Wouldn't We Listen.
I wasn't with what was wrapping up into a weird word whirlpool
but Adonis just goes with the wind whistling within the worlds ruins
building a foundation that is great but using the wrong material
Razah had a smoothness that I enjoyed & it won me here...cereal