[NYCSPITZ]

This was BOTW to me easily. Great read from both. I really enjoyed MMLP's verse and thought it contained excellent flow and clever turns of phrase. You can definitely see his pal Lars' influence there. My qualms with it are sort of nit picky, especially given a genre that allows (and justly so) a lot of creative and poetic license. The paws to be precise line was hot, but ultimately made me ask how paws can hold spears and build structure to contain humans, unless it was the humans themselves forced to make the structures via brute forced. I love the reverse animal Farm take on this, it's just that humans developed opposable thumbs which in addition to their minds give them a huge advantage over animals with paws unless those animals can somehow telekinetically control objects, the humans would still have a huge advantage over any such quasi intelligent species. The only way they're winning is brute chaotic force like the cloverfield monster, but that's not what you're pointing at here. This is such a good verse I have to nitpick to make it cleaner next time, like "taken back" you wrote that instead of taken aback. Precision. Other than that to that point I from the previous paragraph I analyzed, It was an A verse. Wanton oblation line was fire and fit in well with your mention of animal gods beforehand. Intricately crafted. Ending on point, good use of italics. Mechanically it's an A verse, but I just can't see how animals can hold spears and possibly build human like structures if they have paws unless human slaves are made to do the work. How could they overcome when we have tanks assault rifles and bombs? Leaves a question mark but I know, I'm nitpicking. It just bothers me a bit where as otherwise this would receive a 95 from me I have to give it a 91-92. League average 68 though so you're doing good. A top 5 competitor for sure.

Adonis also an excellent verse. I like the unique sailor esque turn of phrase to start. You start the second sentence with "but" which seems to indicate that despite humanity's main strength of intelligence, we expand our thoughts to create whatever's in our mind. A poignant thought to be sure, and profound, but your wording is doing the opposite of what you want here. An "and", for example, instead of "but" would help instead of hinder the flow of it. Nitpicking. From there up until Strange Exists is excellent. Reminds me of I, Robot or Blade Runner with a sort of dystopian cyborg/robot future and all the infinite layers of implications that suggests. Right up my alley, it's an A concept for sure. The next couplet sort of faltered in flow to me. I thought it maybe sounded a bit forced to fit the rhyme, but I am still following the point of view. Could have been a bit more precise with the language there, maybe meditate on that crucial juncture and the universe will give you a better setup line.

It's nothing huge. We had it all, but sound logic quickly downgraded to caustic
Death by creative juices. Sip and be nauseous


^^^ ahhhh my favorite line of the entire battle so far to be honest. Beautiful, nothing need be said, just read it and enjoy it.

You switched from omniscient narration to 1st person in the final part of the verse which was sort of jarring to me. I liked the mechanical wombs like a lot and the ending was fire. Just the contrast between the biological and mechanical, likening a mechanical process to a natural one...I always love these sort of anthropological concepts. New puppets, thinner noose, fly through the beginner moves. This was incredibly original to me. Robots have more leeway to act independently as their consciousness grows as the result of a mad doctor's genius. Then you sort of dangle the carrot out there and cockily exclaim - "watch me create some real shit, player" You're left with a cliffhanger here. Was feeling it, great ending. All in all there were some slight but unimportant mechanical errors. This is by far my favorite verse from you that I can recollect, and given the few qualms I would have to Also give it an overall A- like I did to MMLP's verse.

Overall both were great verses and received an equal grade from me of A-. I'm pretty torn and have read each verse 3 times and been switching between who to vote for each time. In the end I have to make a decision, and in this moment I feel Adonis' creative cliffhanger ending gives him the slight edge. MMLP consistently elite storytelling vs Adnois incredibly provoking, with a few instances of great turns of phrases and an expertly worded, sort of complex cliffhanger ending. Thanks for the read you two!

V/ adonis