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Old 04-27-2016, 11:21 AM   #7
timeless
past tense
 
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Mr. Jingles, confusing read. The ending didn't do much to conclude anything, however it was clever. Alls I could grasp was a failed wedding, there were a couple times were the narrative threw me off. Not bad though, your detail is dope as always.

Breath, I did DMT once, not anything like I expected it to be. There seemed to be a few bars in here, mostly narrowing towards the end that could've been throwaways but I get why they're there at the same time. Dope rhyming in the beginning.

V. Breathless for the more enjoyable read. J's piece was like that story u had to read in school but never did just skipped through to pass the test. Breath was the story you wanted to read after class and tell your boys about it.
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