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Old 04-19-2016, 03:08 PM   #10
breathless
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Location: Lansing, Mi
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Innovator - proofrrad, it makes it weerd to red when shitaint spelled rite an the wrongs words get done... Great play on the topic, meta heavy in a way that most will miss out on, great piece aside from the garbled syntax

Jed - stop using capitols to express intended multis, especially when half of them aren't even actual multis. This verse was weird, it read like a dumb thug type rapper started writing a verse, snorted a small line of a limitless pill, wrote the middle, and then finished the end after he came down. It was alright though, just, so weird, and the "ogical" rhymes, quit with the suffix rhymes, they'rd corny, be creative with the rhyming or focus on the story more, you've got flashes in both pans, but there just ain't no meat sizzlin

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