Advertisement, scheming and ringing was a rough start, farther than a reach for a slant rhyme. Would someone really hum to a doves tune, let alone stop and applaud them? One bubbly fuck. Nvm I see why this was here. Overall a pretty dope read. I was expecting a suicide or something predictable but you brought a worldly issue into the palm of my hands and I loved it. The ending was another weird slant rhyme which didn't sit well with me. I always get u and artifice confused, as both of u are new(?) and have very strong potential here. Your rhyme schemes in this piece were dope aside from the above mentioned.
Breathalyzer test, lol this was interesting, or should I say it could've been interesting? Not a fan of your throw-on ending lol. Focus next week bro, I enjoy your approaches to topics very much.
V. Adverse
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