[Mr. J]

Adverse, you do a great job of telling a story of 2 worlds
the topic you choose is great because its pretty universal
but the twist at the end is what gives it its finishing touch
I think the dialogue could be dropped, you've given enough.
the unbalanced mindset shows from the start of verse 2.
but adding dialogue from others to his thoughts hurts you.
regardless I felt that you put together a great descriptive tale
one that brings reality forth & aside from dialogue, you scripted it well...

Breath, I thought you could have done a lot better.
this was still great & it seemed to all fall together..
but the ending is so abrupt that it felt forced.
it also makes sense with the set up set in course.
the most interesting part was the debate of good or bad
it was a great additive to your piece....good job brah.

v/Adverse, it would be closer if breath would have tried
his verse was impressive & the plot would have worked fine
it just seemed like he was in a rush to get his verse in.
making him deliver but he didnt provide the endings purpose
even a little character development can take a verse a long way
but in the end I feel adverse capitalized with this raw take..
nice battle