[Artifice]

I thought this piece was really dope. I don't find I can always find the flow throughout an entire piece easily when it's formatted in regular prose form, but i had no trouble here. Start to finish, it was an easy and enjoyable read.

New York is massive! I'm such a dork in traffic which probably makes sense to you, knowing how I tend to move. I've mentioned you to a friend or two. I guess I find it helpful to. It's all hustle and bustle in expensive suits.

That part right there was very nice. The only change I would make (and maybe it's a personal choice) is i would change 'i guess i find it helpful to' to 'i guess i find it helps me to' as I think it helps carry that scheme slightly better in that bar. But, maybe it depends on your pronounciation/accent.

Huge crowds that cruise town. I jump on a bus when it's too loud. I listen to the machine's smooth sound to cool down from a mood swing. My apartment is too big. It's dark with a new fridge. I think there's a compartment for tool-kits. Honestly, I haven't really started to move in because I left my heart there with you, Lynn.

this too was quite nice. The only part of it that felt out of place to me was the 'i think there's a compartment for tool-kits' segment. It has nothing to do with the flow per se, I just felt like the subject of the rhyme stuck out as odd to me.

I miss you. I miss the curve of your nose. Imperfect and whole. I miss the grass-stained dirt on your clothes from laying turf for a Rose and how your back hurts in the cold but you're full of mirth when it snows.

This flowed smooth as silk. Love it. Descriptive, emotional, vivid.

This past while I can't see it, though.

I think I get what you did with this line. I'm guessing you played on the passed/past wordplay. I dug it, simple but effective. Plus...

Even so; I miss your feel and hold and how no matter where we are your feet are cold. It's truly a sin how you wear beauty as skin. Moving this pen I ache for when you soothe me again.

Yours Truly,

it's Tim

with this closer, you finished the piece off solid.

Thanks for the read, truly enjoyed it, and has inspired me to spend some time on my verse in the AOWL this week.