Jes, the capitalisation of intended multis throws off the reading, especially when a lot of them are extremely stretched and only vaguely rhyming a few of the half dozen or more syllables. My biggest pet peeve is the over use of suffix based "multis" (ition/ision etc.) You did have some killer solid multis and flow at points, but it repeatedly came to a jarring halt for me with the spelling and odd terminology/syntax. I also couldn't really follow how this fit the theme at all. You have talent though, don't get me wrong, ya just gotta polish them pieces, diamonds in the rough bro
Adverse -
Great playout of the story with the theme, sort of standard fare though. Solidly lyrical for the most part, not super fancy, but it had some hidden bits I'm sure most people won't notice with the properly stretched rhymery. I wasn't feeling the "me, be, see" section though, it was just too basic and the helper rhymes weren't strong enough. That ending though, it was like, about to bust a nut then getting nut punched right before the climax. I was expecting, with the letter, you were going to do the cliche "money rich guy is dying and gives family rich guy his money" thing, but then you never went there... I was like, alright a couple lines left, no money thing, what's the spectacular crescendo gonna be? And then, it was over...
Vote - Adverse
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