Jesodist, I applaud your rhyming ability and this the last couple weeks you've made great improvement in the actual storytelling department and that's makes me happy. I believe English is a second language for you, if so I can look past some of the spelling errors, (if not you need to work on that still) it makes it confusing to read when the wrong words are used like "loose" instead of "lose" for example.
Adverse, first thing I've read from you and I really enjoyed it, I got into it quickly and felt a sense of satisfaction when I finished which goes a good way for me in terms of voting, again sorry for the brief votes guys. Next week I'll have more time
Mvgt= adverse for a more enjoyable piece to read
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