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Old 04-12-2016, 10:04 PM   #5
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II

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Artifice:
This was a great read actually, I thought it could use some fine tuning while switching between characters but the content was dope, your vocabulary was great, too. I liked the story, hard work beats talent as they say, and there's a bigger spot in the world for people like Steve and Rick than there is for Zach. Reality hurts once you hit it knowing you've been living a lie. Good piece man.

Razah:
Your verse wasn't really bad but didn't have much of a story element to it and felt rush, I don't think i've read any of your previous work but I feel like you can do much better than that, like i'm saying it isn't a bad verse, it would sound great over a beat more than likely, just in the situation of this league I don't think it fit very well, keep pushing fam.

Vote - Art
A better told story, great vocab and the works. Razah just didn't do enough in my eyes.
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