JW- very cleanly written piece here. Your fundamentals are pretty much on par with your signature rhyming style- matching your short bars syllable for syllable. There were a few missteps in that department where the length was a little awkward in some lines, but the narrative journal entries carried you well. The turn of events felt kinda thrown in and, for me, messed up a good flow to the piece. It came off as rushed and not fully imagined, so to me it seemed just for the sake of. I'm guessing you had to cut the drop short. Regardless, I enjoyed the other 85% so great job.
MJ- remain at large? lol. This was really cool how you wrote your drop in news column structure. Very brave and very original in my book. The most surprising thing about your approach is that it reads like one too, aside from the mandated rhyming. Speaking of which, it wasn't at all flashy, but the angle was daring enough to keep me reading. No twists, no unnecessary blunders. That last line was adorably stupid though. Was that line verbatim? Good job.
MVGT MJ for the more original and daring approach to the narrative. Thank you guys for showing.
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Ahem.
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