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Old 04-05-2016, 07:51 PM   #6
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League

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More stories huh. Just Write, you misspelled journal, repeatedly. Anyways, the story was on point. I liked the ending at the end, it was unexpected to say the least. I liked how you broke it up into logs, made it seem shorter than it was. Good shit over all, smooth wording & a good story.

Mr. J, whyyy would you break that verse up like that? You could’ve just kept it like a regular verse and it would’ve flowed so smoothly. I dunno, over all it was cool, I just really hate that you purposely made it difficult to find the flow. I mean, once I knew what you were doing, it flowed well, it was just annoying to read.

So yeah, in a league where most (if not all, just mine) votes are based on how much you enjoy a verse, I don’t see why Mr. J would annoy me, on purpose. *shrugs*

vJustWrite
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