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Old 04-05-2016, 05:39 PM   #7
Just Write
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Short bar vs. Extremely unconceivably unbelievably long bar

Razah, I'm not usually one to like the whole short bar style but you might be the exception, you fit so much into so little. Its pretty amazing and I definitely give you props for that. It's something I cannot do, I don't know why but I feel like I need a little bit more to be able to say what I feel. As far as this piece is concerned I enjoyed it and the whole approach you took. If you were going against anyone else this might be a sure win but going against a spitfire like frank, the shorter bar, minimum line verse might have hurt you here.



Franklin, you fucker..

This was some epic shit.. reminded me of zygote a bit to be honest. Your ability to keep the same scheme throughout is very impressive, my only gripe about it is the fact that sometimes your wording becomes clunky from sacrificing the flow to try to keep the scheme running. Also some of the wording sometimes seems out of place due to this. But that being said you can't deny how impressive your writing is. I didn't think I was going to like this piece when I first stared reading the first few lines but then I just got lost in it. I also though Sanjeer was the handler until the ending. Great job here friend.


Mvgt= frank

This was a great showing from both. Cheers guys, thanks for the reads
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