Sym, Im unsure if you knew that that soldier is a lady
it really messes with the story...but I made it through safely
I edited it in my head as I went along & accepted the plot
some of it was hit & miss but I enjoyed the peppermint spot
I noticed how you tried to add depth to your character
you tried to make her down to earth by trying to embarrass her
well...him, either way you had a nice flow at certain points
perhaps you knew you didnt have to do much to earn the joy....
the joy being the win, the win being the joy & so on & so forth
aside from a few weird lines. you wrote a verse I could go for...
2tripple0, I cant believe you made me read this verse
I mean the plot of it all is almost so mean...it hurts
perhaps you thought you were battling in the NBL?
regardless after reading half the verse I dont see this ending well
I mean...I laughed but that doesnt earn you brownie points
its no longer the 1st so why you trying to clown me boy?
after the praise in the mag I thought you'd battle a champ you yoohoo
but this was an off-putting attempt to earn my stamp of approval...
v/Symetrik, dun dun dahhhh could it be more obvious?
2tripple0 wanted to battle this week & showed his cockiness
which was interesting for about half the verse but come on...
Symetrik wrote about a man, which is funny how it comes off
I enjoyed his verse more because he stuck to the topic
while PP ran in with a crazed look & tried to win outta pocket
regardless I thought this was interesting & deserves more votes
nice work fellas...I enjoyed it all
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
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