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Old 03-29-2016, 01:57 AM   #5
asylum
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Adonis – well it started as a crazy little story about a random kid but it took a pretty bad turn for this worse, quick. I appreciated the first stanza a little more than the second as far as effective writing goes, but the second half of this was pretty cool too. It had it’s own appeal in areas the first didn’t and vice versa. That made for an effective drop, in my opinion. Nice work fellas.
Buddha/Jes – This piece was dope, straight topical. Really enjoyed the approach. Rhymes were great, story bounced around a bit but this was a pretty dope drop. That chaotic creature line at the end kinda stuck out to me, I’m not sure how to pronounce whatever sclerotic liver means but yeah. I probably have it lol. Anyway, classic Buddha shone through here and it was dope.’

/v buddha because honestly, I think he brought a little more to the table. I mean if Adonis had carried the tone of the first half throughout the entire piece.. it would've worked a bit more. Even with the short syllable counts, it was really effective writing but the entire piece wasn’t exactly cohesive and buddha’s was. I enjoyed both about equally, but I have to give the nod to someone..
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