[asylum]

Razah & Just Write

The doctor put his hand on her arm and said gently,
“You or the baby will survive. Not both. I’m sorry.”


She paused for a moment, didn't know how to act
As tears formed in her eyes, she was holding them back
Broken she laughed, thinking "why is this happening to me?"
Collected herself then let out a sigh of relief....
She thought at least her child could grow in this world
Though she still didn't know if it was a boy or a girl
She had decided surprises were more of her thing
And wanted to try to avoid, anymore suffering...
I mean she knew what was right, and had to be done
So she grabbed at the doctor and ask him to come
"Can you please give me a pen and I need some paper"
She wanted to write to her kid, so they could read it later
She couldn't find the words for what seemed like ages
Then tears dripped down her face & seeped through the pages
She wrote "My dearest angel, know that I love you
There will always be someone watching down from above you
Although I'm not around, know that I cared
Let these words carry on, as hope through despair
I just wish I could prepare you for the battles you'll face
Take your time when you decide how to tackle each day
Keep your soul pure, don't get lost in the strife
With a spirit as bright as the sun you'll never be far from the sky
Meaning we're closer than ever, don't live life being heartless
Be the best that you can be, bring your light to the darkness
You'll have what you need, don't ever covet your peers
Always gather your strength 'til you're overcoming your fears
Not getting what you want will make you want to live unruly
Just know all the ugly in life has a glimpse of beauty
I hope you have what it takes to live a life that is sick"
... The more she thought about it, everything finally clicked
"Where do i begin?" she thought, feeling like she'd never just win
How could she bring a life so pure into this world full of sin
She said "Doctor, forgive me"- He looked back, shocked & surprised
Though she felt like a coward, she mumbled, "It's me who wants to survive"
And in a blink of an eye her decision was made
There was no funeral, no Chapel, no linens or grave.
A simple mistake, or the best decision for both
For the rest of her life she knows she'll have to live with a ghost