[Adonis]

Art - points for spur of the moment jib. Plus pales in comparison. I like this quick witted style of writing because it breathes life into a verse, it makes the read pop some. A small nugget of spice and shit. Mmlp for sure. I liked this verse as is, but I do wish more action occurred. It lacked plot, which isn't bad, but in this case I felt it needed another component to get this fully cooked. Good shit though. I enjoyed it

Pat - shrapnel whispering in ears is too dope, I also lold at the girls name, ironic I guess. You decorated a soldier, and it made it a girl. You rhymed well, kept great pace given the both the time jumps and the Acton taking place in between. I mean the images, bloody rocks in a desert, paratroopers etc. Solid read, I only read 6 but this was one of the better ones.


More gripping of a read



I went back and read this after I cast my vote and I'm actually changing it. I missed death at play,and though this is not a new concept, it was done well. This tipped the scales for me because he perfectly executed his concept. Two very good reads, close in skill and talent, but I personally enjoy the deeper concept over the face value of Pats war soldier


V/art