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Old 03-22-2016, 12:54 AM   #10
Frank
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Join Date: Oct 2001
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The Law...
First impressions are everything. Impressive introductory verse. Some slick turns of phrase and interesting descriptions. Surging flow. Read a piece earlier using this picture and you totally did it more justice. Some mumble jumble, but very dope effort. I was fond of the finale. Completed the excerpt in a profound manner.

Breathless...
Amazing opening couplets up until sheen of emotion. Ironically it took a took a turn for the worst on the turn for the worst line. Nothing too dramatic, just drifted from utilizing the picture as you had up until then. Very poetic repeating the beginning four lines, which was the best stanza.

Toughest decision this week.

Breathless 2nd to last stanza I feel didn't compliment the verse like it needed to. Anticlimactic

MVGT The Law

Good battle. Thanks for the read. Pardon the brevity.
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