Yo, I was extremely impressed by this verse. The flow was buttery and the transition between rhymes was natural. The story flowed as well. There were some hiccups with a few rhyme choice options that were a little weird, but overall the readability of the lilting flow kinda overshadowed those flaws.
A couple spots that were hiccups for me - "broken and shit", not really the kinda stuff you'd find in a love letter.
"I've mentioned you to a friend or two." - that's dope.
"Honestly, I haven't really started to move in because I left my heart there with you, Lynn." - dope.
"She's both tough and romantic. A hub for the frantic." - dope
The closing paragraph was appropriately romantic and emotional. Nice details in there and it was very nice that the signoff fit the scheme as well. You also immersed your piece in the period, which is always hard to do.
Overall, a very smooth and fun read.
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