nice verses guys,
ok so timeless my only gripe really is that i dont feel you tackled the topic very well, i mean the writing itself was great but i dont understand the whole shooting a gun into the crowd or a couple following lines, really liked the soundproof line though, if i didnt see the pic i would have no clue what you were writing about until the last couple lines where you pronounced the character as cassius clay.. still good writing though
franklin,
lol'd at holded close, what? lol.. other than that unsightly rhyme this was just awesome.. no secret im a fan of your writing since way back
Quote:
"Low and behold, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are live at ringside, in what hopes to be a heroic show"
The promoter boasts, as the Champion and the Challenger get nose to nose, toe to toe, opposing foes
The bell promptly rings as the challenger bobs and weaves, as the animosity of the crowd grows and grows
The Challenger gets jolted with imposing blows that buckle him, as he stumbles into a slower mode
The Champion unloads with stone fists into the broken soul of his opponent, blow for blow, exposing holes in his defense with roaming bolts.
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i probably could have quoted more but this was my favorite section and i think where you picked up speed and just flew across the finish line, i definitely felt like i was right there in the stadium and applaud you for that. bravo brotha.. bravo
this week i am going to go with (no surprise) frank, i felt he really embodied the picture and the fact he stayed on the same rhyme scheme throughout the piece for the most part shows real talent
mvgt=red glare ...errr frank