[uh-oh]

Just a little. Called off work.

Im in line. Half dead and zombified getting my v8 bottled water and lays pickle chips. Had bubbly gut activity all morning. Was feeling it again. Had to fart but didnt trust the amount of heat behind my anus so i was holding it. There are people in front and behind me and im like fucckkkk lets go. Then i had to sneeze. Im a weirdo who dont like sneezing around others because i sneeze like an oxen with tourettes. But my hands are full. I can usually just like squeeze my nose holes shut and power through burning eyes. But nah. So i turn my head to sneeze and i sharted hot acid. It was probably like 3/4 of a shot glass worth of human waste.

I dont think anyone noticed, there was no sound involved past the sneeze. It was like just opening a water balloon you havent tied for a split second.

I put my v8 water and chips on top of the newspapers by the door and fled. Nothing like a wet asscheek under you as you drive back home. Then i made the embarassing phone call to work like yo i cant come in today i had a lesson in humility bruh.

So here i am.

Whens the last time butt juice evacuated your system unwarranted