[Pinot Grij]

Artifice

opening quartet is nice - setting the scene - imagery is dope. I only wish you capitalized Death's name so that we see him clearly established as your character.
bucket list line is a little too interpretive for the narrative line you've established. I would've liked something more concrete.
ready to hoof it couplet is very nice - like the horse motif being put to work.
lies/truth is nice - Death's victims have chosen this path and by the time they try to turn things around, its too late.
I liked the continuation of the horse motif down the stretch. It was worded crisply. The only criticism I could give is that you leaned on horse-related idioms and phrases too heavily and got a bit away from a solid storyline. The closer sounds dope, but offers no true ending point.

Either way, I dug the verse - it was a cool exercise that was well-executed.

Asylum
I'm stuck on whether I like the "shutter speed / fluttering" rhyme choice. In theory, it's a cool idea, but it read weirdly in my head.
The tank attack scene is weirdly worded for me. She's not there to collect a check? I think there should be more backstory before that line is just thrown out - it feels weird to drop that thought and then delve into backstory.
"do it / movement" couplet is dope.
Marine Corps shit is dope too.
I like the rhymes down the stretch, but the story just feels incomplete. I still didn't really get a motivation for her being a war photographer while not "earning a check" - so, she's there to share in the wartime experience with the soldiers, then? That seems far-fetched. Your imagery was tight, but I wish there was a different order to your storytelling, and I think for the story you wanted to tell, the verse should've been longer and more encompassing of your character's life and times.

Vote -- Artifice