Mr. J - You would choose that pic. Lol. This verse was dope man I enjoyed it. Ended very well. I’m not sure if there was something I didn’t catch, but I feel like I’m missing something. Favorite bars..
a dream within a dream, consumed in the thought.
He would dance to his own beat of delusional applause
Jack often posed as voluptuous women in their thirties
He would claim he was from Cali & vacationed in Jersey
Fucking hilarious. I really needed a comedy piece man and you came through this week. I’m still left wondering what you meant by small glacier? No clue what that meant. PM me and tell me. But for the record i like it anyways. On a second read through, I’m paying attention to your immaculate attention to detail as far as mechanics goes. Your syllable counts are really lining up and your rhymes are exceptionally good. I can understand why you’re always so critical of how people rhyme. That’s because you are so damn good at it. Wordplay has been lacking recently in my verses, so I really appreciated that rock paper line. That line was quality man, had a nice ring to it. So this guy did weird shit with people and recorded it on webcam then extorted them? Fairly entertaining, actually. I’m glad I read this a second time.
Razah – you started off a little shaky but picked up momentum fast. Wooow this is actually amazing. Your verse almost seems intentionally unsure, shaky.. vulnerable. You really captured the essence of what you were going for and embodied it. Skills man, all day. Favorite lines..
Life was a beach & was great, now a simple mistake can explain
Why I fight for survival & confusion is engraved on my face
I blew the residue off, I remember the day it wasn't the same
I hope to catch a second wind as remorse runs through my veins
Excellent take on your topic. Great rhymes. Quality work. On a second read through these lines really stuck out to me..
Felt like I was drowning in fear but no one would lend me a hand
Had to float back to the shore & decided to blend with the sand
Life was a beach & was great, now a simple mistake can explain
I passed those first two lines by at first but your flawless nod at denial paired with the entertaining use of, “life was a beach..” was particularly entertaining. This was really an emotional piece.
/v – I think J took it this week. I was leaning towards razah on the first read. But I knew it was close, and after the second I understood J’s angle.. his rhymes were a little too clean, and his plot was a little too strong for razah to take it this week. had razah introduced some kind of crux of the verse and went with a stronger storyline his emotional display would have easily gained him a victory. But this one’s going to the box, I expect a close battle. Nice drops from both.
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