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Old 03-16-2016, 12:51 AM   #4
Mr. J
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This was decent, its not as smooth as your other pieces have been
I feel like there was a chunk of it missing that could have made the story more hard hitting
although you do set up the scenery quite nicely & it has its effects...
otherwise there isnt too much here for me to look into other than that I wish there was more to it...
keep writing though...
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