This was a pretty smooth piece, I really enjoyed how in depth you took it
you showcase a raw talent for building around the character as well as giving him a story
the flow was on point for the first 2 portions of the piece & eased up halfway through
I thought that you really gave the reader something to take in while you incorporated multis & such
the beginning verse was the icing on the cake for me & kept me motivated to read
you had some nice lines in here that really stuck to me & some that felt like they could have been worded better
really nice work regardless...
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