GC - I've read several of your verses last season on the later end that I enjoyed. However, I can't say the same about your verse in this particular battle this time around. The flow and readability was up and down for me. Sometimes your bars were rolling of the tongue and were very smooth and others bars did not keep up with the same rhythm. I don't know if others noticed as they were reading it, but I definitely could feel the change in the rhythm of your rhymes mess with the flow a bit. There may have been some off-syllable multi's but I wasn't going back to check if they were or not. The vocab and complexity is used to a point. I remember from your others verses that it tends to be your style but I thought it was a little over complex for the topic and story that you presented at hand. You started it off well, and closed it off well. The problem for me lied in the bulk of the progression. I thought you spent too much time described what it was like for the character and not enough time revolving around the topic or in your storys case the symbolic 'sweet potato pie'
Razah - I thought you stuck to the topic well and kept it simple. Although, you could have injected a bit of a twist or other literature techniques revolving around the simple take you had to spice it up some more. The rhyming and readability was outstanding. Every line transitioned perfect into the next and you ended it off well closing up the verse lining everything to the topic. There were plenty of nice lines related to the topic as well. (nibble or bit, medicine, ingrediants, famished). Plenty of plays that worked well with the concept and made your verse complete.
MVGT: Razah - I feel he had the best written verse overall. Sometimes it's better to perfect simplicity & the basics, rather than try to go so complex to the point it takes away from both the story and writing itself. Look forward to seeing more out of both of you in the weeks to come.
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