MR. J's PIECE
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Too tired to walk. he waved down a taxi, told the driver which block
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the flow of this line in particular hooked me to read the rest, hands down.
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Tipping the driver more than the trips worth, he stumbled up the steps
He took a deep breath & took in the moment.. humbled again...
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this piece came across as just straight forward and simply real. nothing too tricky with imagery (and thankfully unhurt by that).
FRANK'S PIECE
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… searching for some Punk guy talking much jive
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multis like this really keep the energy of the piece. by now I'm kinda bouncing.
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… muggy sky
"Crime And Pollution are on the Uprise:"
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"muggy". LEL
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Boarding the bus in the hush twilight, to a couple "sup's" and "hi's" as he walked by kids his class sitting upright, or slumped tired
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again man, multis are nailing it. they keep the energy just pulsing through.
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Smoke settling like summin fried
"AIYO CMON. CUZ' JUMP INSIDE"
Homicide sirens corruptly cry
Serenading South Central L.A awake, with a lullaby
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definitely could have flowed a tad more easily, but still has the energy all the way through. good read overall.
MVGT @
Frank