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Old 03-14-2016, 11:41 AM   #8
Just Write
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Mmlp, you must be from the uk because a lot of your word choices do not rhyme, I noticed it last week but couldn't say anything because we were battling. For instance your opening bar, story and a applaud me do not rhyme, neither does darkens and lagers, and project (the way you used it) doesn't rhyme with content... you were using it as in projecting your thoughts, which has a hard O sound.. at least where im from, project as in a school project has a soft o sound. also on another battle I read you telling someone that something didn't rhyme with glorious (can't remember what it was but it definitely rhymed to me) I actually have a LOT of friends from the uk though so I understand how you say certain words so it works for me. also the whole putting down the voters because you don't think they pick up on certain references ect is a little distasteful. Certain people have different styles so not everybody is going to like your pieces, just like you're never going to like someone else's pieces. That's just the way the cookie crumbles my dude. As far as this piece is concerned I feel it was well written but I didn't like the fact that you were basically attacking the aowl because you lost a battle.. idk, maybe I read wrong but that's what I came away with.


Maximus,
I really enjoyed your first verse, I myself am definitely a hermit of sorts, i'd rather be home doing my own thing than out and aboutx I also get very tense in compacted placed with an abundance of people (disneyland is vicious for me) you definitely grasped some of my feelings which leads me to believe you really are a loner... well maybe a homebody, loner might not be the best word. The second verse seemed very rushed to me, almost like you were in a panic to finish before the deadline, I mean the topic was about Saturday night and now we're at church on Sunday morning singing hallelujah hymes!? Lol I just couldn't connect the two verses no matter how hard I tried, if you would have kept in the same zone throughout your second vote as you were in the first you would have easily taken this but the connection was just too much of a reach for me.

Mvgt= MMLP despite all the negatives I said I feel your piece was more coherent throughout and although I don't think attacking the league for vote is a good route to go seeing as the league members are the ones voting, I've been there in my mind as well. Cheers guys
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