[Echo]

another major clash of styles

Lars, it's annoying how effortless rhyming is for you at times. i don't mean rhyming in general, that's not hard. i'm talking about how fluid you can make a piece without missing a beat. it's easy to take that for granted after reading a lot of your work but i appreciate the way you word your lines. i enjoyed the story. another one that resonates with most. overall a well written and fluid piece of work

Jesodist, it seems to me that you're just starting out on your journey as a ''topical writer''. i say this because you appear to be at the stage where your focus is on using a lot of crazy vocab and trying to be as mystical as you can. if that's your lane, that's cool -- it needs to be more fluid though. the capitalization needs to stop as it's taking away from your fluidity rather than adding to it. i actually liked the story and your take on the topic was creative. it's just that Lars brought such a fluent and well worded piece that it immediately highlighted the wording issues that you're still working out. don't be disheartened, though. being creative is the most important part of being a writer and you're definitely that

my vote is for Lars for writing an overall more sound piece that resonated with me as a reader