Netcees - View Single Post - Week 2: Frank vs. Mr. J (FRANK WINS SHUTOUT 8-0)

e11even · 03-14-2016, 03:37 AM

Mr.J- your verse came off as accomplished and complete, but bland. I think it's cool to see a verse without a twist every now and again, but more could have been done to make your story more interesting. I think what hurt this verse the most was the fact that the rhyming was bare minimum and very simplistic. Not your usual. Ok verse for what it was.

Frank- I didn't like this verse. I liked how descriptive it was, but the details were all messed up. The language was buzz word, buzz word... no actual conversation that would occur. I get that this was just a verse, but I think everytime you attempt to do urban or minority pieces you do this type of thing. I.e. the flag was on the wrong side. Multiple die is dice... shit like that. You had me pissed off for the whole first half of that damn verse. The end was a little better. This verse had flaws, but was entertaining.
On the technical side, your rhyming and vocabulary was rushed and not your usual. That kendrick reference was a nice touch though lmao. I was like wow, really?

I think both you guys shitted on this week. I think you both could have maximized those verses, but instead you just put something up. MVGT Frank for the more entertaining read. Both you guys played the topic similarly, but didn't do too much imo. Thanks for showing.

03-14-2016, 03:37 AM	#4
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Mr.J- your verse came off as accomplished and complete, but bland. I think it's cool to see a verse without a twist every now and again, but more could have been done to make your story more interesting. I think what hurt this verse the most was the fact that the rhyming was bare minimum and very simplistic. Not your usual. Ok verse for what it was. Frank- I didn't like this verse. I liked how descriptive it was, but the details were all messed up. The language was buzz word, buzz word... no actual conversation that would occur. I get that this was just a verse, but I think everytime you attempt to do urban or minority pieces you do this type of thing. I.e. the flag was on the wrong side. Multiple die is dice... shit like that. You had me pissed off for the whole first half of that damn verse. The end was a little better. This verse had flaws, but was entertaining. On the technical side, your rhyming and vocabulary was rushed and not your usual. That kendrick reference was a nice touch though lmao. I was like wow, really? I think both you guys shitted on this week. I think you both could have maximized those verses, but instead you just put something up. MVGT Frank for the more entertaining read. Both you guys played the topic similarly, but didn't do too much imo. Thanks for showing. __________________ Ahem.