Buddha, from the start of your piece I feel your depressing tone
but as I continued on I will say that you had an impressive flow...
I was saddened about half way through the piece due to a forced concept
what I am speaking of is your winged messengers/bird. an odd process.
Perhaps you did it to enhance the use of your use of the celestial cage
I can tell you now that I understood the idea & your tempos pace...
the second portion it felt like you sacrificed rhymes to progress the piece
your use of world/portal was odd & it didnt really make sense to me...
either way I felt that you got back on track with this tale of yours
& by the end I couldn't hate it even if you trailed off into another world to explore..
nice work...
Razah, if I didnt read the topic I would feel different about your piece
with that being said I enjoy the pacing you used, it sounds at ease...
I feel like you may be pudgy but that fact is beside the point.
there were a lot of one liners in your piece that I enjoyed...
I even saw you toss a curve ball in Buddhas direction which made me lol
for some reason your use of *freshest* had me saying (nah)
this is all preference though & some people may enjoy your scheme though
your piece was easier on the eyes & it was a really easy read yo...
nice work...
v/Razah, I enjoyed both pieces & this was a tough battle from 2 different styles
I thought Buddha brought that style hes used to but for real....Razah made me smile
this is all preference I enjoyed both pieces but I felt Razah had more fun here
some of Buddhas piece had me scratching my head because some of the plot was unclear
Razah had a smooth flow while Buddha tried making the topic deeper than need be
but both brought an enjoyable read so this vote wasnt really....easy....
nice work fellas
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
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