Lars wrote a simple enough rendition based on rehabilitation and its process and the motivation being his loved one. It felt very genuine, but nothing too special either, in terms of the effort this portrays. While very clean, it reads very hastily done and compared to some of your other works not as encompassing. Yet, it had a heartfelt feeling to it, even if the thematic premise, the hardship, seemed kind of ordinary without any new fresh spin on it.
Jesodist: Glad to see you entering the topical arena. I can tell you are struggling in adapting to this new format. To succeed, I think you need to be less strict in following your style and be more flexible. I think for topicals you need to be more focused and that requires abandoning this obsessive need to rhyme this words you view as adding complexity to your narrative. While, yes they do add complexity, they also burden your phrasing by making it more encrypted than it should be. Now, this might sound strange coming from me, to write a bit more simpler and flexible, but I think it's what you need for adapting and evolving in the topical. Also the capitalization is unneeded, makes the writing look too pronounced. Go for natural and fluid, not cryptic.
Vote: Lars
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