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Old 03-13-2016, 04:58 PM   #13
Pinot Grij
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 863
Battle Record: 23-19

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night 2
- Write Week V
- Netcees Battle League (2x)
- Winter Topical II
- 1-2 Punch league

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Wanderer, opener is a cool concept, but I don't know how many peopel recycle their internal rhymes.. like it's a bit of a faulty premise, but still a good idea in execution.
The second bar is dope. Great writing.
Smoke Meats was a dope concept, but I feel coulda been made much harsher.
Flicked thru paper is a cool idea too.
Business cards is dope.
Menopause is dope.
Closer was dope.

I gotta say I was pretty impressed with the variety of concepts. Even though a few were a bit of, or missed, it was still cool to see you try alotta different angles.


OG - opener coulda been harsher.
The next two bars are so off format, I don't know what to make of them.. I guess the rhyming is just really bad. The defensive back concept is pretty dope. The Usain Bolt shit, that double-spelling stuff doesn't really fly with this crowd. I'm not a fan personally.
Contract line is cool, but it's hard to imagine dude's ex-girlf shooting him with an assault rifle just cuz you gave her the gun, lmao. Namean?
Beef lines are played.
Rest kinda fell off.

I gotta vote for Wanderer. OG is cool, but I just think needs to get more acclimated to the NC tastes.
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